Phantom Fat!

I heard on the radio that there is a "disease" called phantom fat. This is really the same idea as a phantom limb (where people who have lost limbs still have phantom feelings for that leg, where it may seem to itch or hurt etc as if the limb were still there). Well the idea of the phantom fat is that even after people lose weight they still perceive themselves to actually be fat-- you worry about all the same things that you used to when you were over weight, like knocking things over, being too heavy to sit on certain things, thinking you can't fit into clothes, being too wide to fit in seats etc. They said that this "phantom fat" typically occurs in people who have either lost significant weight in short period of time (typically those who have had bariactric surgery) or people who have simply been overweight for a long time.

This makes me wonder if I might actually have this when all is said and done. Even now I don't really see that much of a difference in myself from where I started. Having been overweight my entire life--- I wonder how I will perceive myself when I hit my goal weight (which I've never weighed that little in my entire adult life). Not that phantom fat is really a serious matter it's just really being accustomed to how your body has functioned for a long time.

In this same news report they said that people who have lost weight are actually more self-conscious or self-aware than people who are overweight that have never attempted to lose weight. I think it's also interesting that they stated people who have lost a lot of weight are also more conscious of what they look like than people are in thin. I would probably assume this has a lot to do with being aware of what you look like now and what you looked like THEN. Looking at where I'm at when I hit my goal weight and comparing that to what I looked like at my heaviest is motivation enough to keep going to the gym and make sure I keep the weight off!

A Victory-- A Defeat and a Baker's Dozen worth of Excuses 263.5

So-- my second day back at work-- I work 9:30 - 6pm (this is going to be my new schedule)-- We had some bad weather today so getting into work -- and getting home was a challenge. I realized I probably should go to the store to pick up some basic things (but mainly a supply of propel to drink at work)--while in there I saw a package of 4 HUGE triple chocolate chunk cookies on the "oops we baked too much" rack--- I scurried to pick them up and paraded around the store selecting fruit etc... those cookies kept eying me-- and I kept eying them...I kept scolding myself for even picking them up-- but then backing it up with "well you have been working out really hard" -- on my way to the check out-- I just finally challenged myself and said "you don't need those cookies--- you don't even want those cookies-- this will only set you back -- do you want the cookie-- or to loose weight more?" I pulled the cart over to one side grabbed the cookies-- took a good long stare and placed them on the shelf-- to me that was a huge victory!

By the time I got out of there it was 7:30pm -- on the way home I texted the boy I talked about in the first blog (the one that decided he wanted to be single but I still didn't know where we stood)-- I said "I'm not really sure exactly where we stand anymore.,.. but I miss you"---

By the time I got home it was 8-- I was tired and in no mood to go to the gym-- then I started thinking about the cookies and how I put those down.. and how I went to the gym yesterday-- and I kept trying to make an excuse as to why I shouldn't go-- but in reality-- I knew better-- there is absolutely nothing -- NOTHING that should keep me from the gym tonight (aside from the fact I just spend the last 8 hours sitting in a cubical-- all the more reason why I absolutely needed to go).

So I got dressed and hopped in my car-- about 2 minutes from the gym I hear I just got a text message-- I looked down and could see it was a long one-- I knew it was from him and decided--- I just have to get to the gym then I can look .... well once I pulled in I read it "I've been doing some serious thought about my situation-- I think it's best that we stay friends--with everything that's going on" -- well there I was dressed to work out-- sitting in the parking lot of the gym-- not wanting to work out even more -- I texted him back " I felt like you weren't interested when you were in town-- I think we both anticipated things to have gone differently.. I'm not really 100 % sure why that is-- but I think I have a good idea.. we can be friends.. or not be friends... it's up to you" I then stuck my phone in the console-- and went in to work out-- I did 35 minutes on the treadmill and decided to go home without doing weights. I went outside to the car to see if I got a response from him-- and there wasn't one.

I got the "friends" speech from him. I decided that I also have given my body the "friends" speech. We're not going anywhere--there's no romance left... sayonara baby!-- don't get me wrong.. I love myself-- I love me... it's all this padding I hate! I'm conducting an outright civil war-- excuses, emotions, temptations-- I've overcome you today-- one calorie, one day, one pound at a time.

263 - the treadclimber kicked my ass!

Have you seen the commercials for the Treadclimber? They describe that it feels like you're walking in sand-- well I have no idea how to describe how it feels other than awkward and challenging! I tried the treadclimber about a month ago when 4 first arrived @ my gym-- interestingly enough only 1 of the 4 were in working condition when received (not good odds if you're looking to purchase one).

As previously discussed when I hop on the treadmill I always walk at about a pace of 4.2 mph. I started up the treadclimber (which incidentally takes a while to respond to the commands you give it) I kept hitting the speed up control until I hit about 4.2--- all the sudden I almost fell off... (since the machine took so long to respond) I had to keep adjusting the speed down until I was confident I wasn't going to embarrass myself by taking a face plant -- this occurred at about 2.8 mph.

I must admit that I did feel like I was getting a work out-- in fact I've never sweated so much in my entire life. I did have difficulty with the "pedals" mainly because I don't walk evenly--- with one of my legs I take a much shorter stride-- I had to make adjustments for this but once I got that figured out things went more smoothly. The system does monitor your heart rate while on the treadclimber (which mine was incredibly high-- so high in fact it kept telling me "find the right pace-- no need to rush this is twice the work out" --- seeing that flash about 98% of the time while I was working out was distracting). The machine does give a lot of suggestions; "slow down" "take longer strides" " even out your strides" but I found it to be a little too eager to help! At the end of the work out (20 minutes) I had burned much fewer calories than I do on the traditional treadmill-- and with a lot more effort. I haven't gone back to try the treadclimber yet-- but I think it does really do a good job of targeting a lot of muscles you don't normally hit as well.

This is my humble take on the treadclimber.. let me know what you think? It's ok to disagree!

In other news I did just get home from the gym-- all 30 treadmills (and treadclimber) were taken up when I got there-- the air was thick and humid with the stench of sweat in the air-- can't wait for mid February when everyone jumps off the New Years Resolution trek---

my workout consisted of inner and outer thigh abduction machines 120 lbs (while waiting on a machine to open up)-- I snagged a treadmill and walked 35 minutes @ an inclination that maxed out @ 4.5--- after which I did the ab machine @ 95lbs the triceps @ 50lbs and this other exercise that targets your back and your gut @ 120lbs. Then for good measure I hopped back on the treadmill and got another 20 minutes in--- from the treadmill standpoint I burned 550 calories-- all in all a pretty decent work out-- I'm already a little sore on my outer thighs (definitely feeling that more tomorrow) -- love knowing I "did some work son".