261.5 -- I swallowed my guilt whole.

Thinking back on how I actually gained 56lbs in the past 2 years-- I think it really had a lot to do with the guilt I had surrounding my relationship. I think when you start to bury feelings and thoughts deep down inside--- it starts to grow roots into all aspects of your life. -- it's as if I had a redwood protruding out of my chest-- just so vast and immensely unfathomable to deal with. Once I started swallowing that guilt whole-- it just festered in my gut. I think that's why I'm feeling so liberated discussing things like my weight so openly now --- it's something that's always been there lurking in the shadows-- but there's no need to do that anymore. When you stop fearing the monster under the bed enough to actually lift up the covers and look him in the eye-- you realize you've been fearing an old sneaker and waded up sweater from 1982.

Does anyone else see a similar correlation in their life?

Today was my first day back @ work (after having been laid off for 3 months) -- I'm incredibly sore from yesterday's work out and almost decided not to go the gym tonight. Instead I decided to work through the pain-- I convinced myself to do just 35 minutes on the treadmill--- I walked slower today @ 3.7 mph but with an inclination that I started @ 4.5 and moved up to 6-- it was tough! After that I did convince myself to do some weights as well.. sometimes it's so hard to motivate myself.. but if I tackle it one item at a time-- I can often convince myself to do "just one more" exercise or "just 5 more minutes" -- I think this is a lot like how I have to approach my weight loss-- one calorie-- one day-- one pound at a time.

263 - the treadclimber kicked my ass!

Have you seen the commercials for the Treadclimber? They describe that it feels like you're walking in sand-- well I have no idea how to describe how it feels other than awkward and challenging! I tried the treadclimber about a month ago when 4 first arrived @ my gym-- interestingly enough only 1 of the 4 were in working condition when received (not good odds if you're looking to purchase one).

As previously discussed when I hop on the treadmill I always walk at about a pace of 4.2 mph. I started up the treadclimber (which incidentally takes a while to respond to the commands you give it) I kept hitting the speed up control until I hit about 4.2--- all the sudden I almost fell off... (since the machine took so long to respond) I had to keep adjusting the speed down until I was confident I wasn't going to embarrass myself by taking a face plant -- this occurred at about 2.8 mph.

I must admit that I did feel like I was getting a work out-- in fact I've never sweated so much in my entire life. I did have difficulty with the "pedals" mainly because I don't walk evenly--- with one of my legs I take a much shorter stride-- I had to make adjustments for this but once I got that figured out things went more smoothly. The system does monitor your heart rate while on the treadclimber (which mine was incredibly high-- so high in fact it kept telling me "find the right pace-- no need to rush this is twice the work out" --- seeing that flash about 98% of the time while I was working out was distracting). The machine does give a lot of suggestions; "slow down" "take longer strides" " even out your strides" but I found it to be a little too eager to help! At the end of the work out (20 minutes) I had burned much fewer calories than I do on the traditional treadmill-- and with a lot more effort. I haven't gone back to try the treadclimber yet-- but I think it does really do a good job of targeting a lot of muscles you don't normally hit as well.

This is my humble take on the treadclimber.. let me know what you think? It's ok to disagree!

In other news I did just get home from the gym-- all 30 treadmills (and treadclimber) were taken up when I got there-- the air was thick and humid with the stench of sweat in the air-- can't wait for mid February when everyone jumps off the New Years Resolution trek---

my workout consisted of inner and outer thigh abduction machines 120 lbs (while waiting on a machine to open up)-- I snagged a treadmill and walked 35 minutes @ an inclination that maxed out @ 4.5--- after which I did the ab machine @ 95lbs the triceps @ 50lbs and this other exercise that targets your back and your gut @ 120lbs. Then for good measure I hopped back on the treadmill and got another 20 minutes in--- from the treadmill standpoint I burned 550 calories-- all in all a pretty decent work out-- I'm already a little sore on my outer thighs (definitely feeling that more tomorrow) -- love knowing I "did some work son".