221- Memoirs of a Fat Chick

At work today was my company's "annual Holiday"-- the day typically has games for people to play (like corn hole) and free lunch.

This years was a little different, it was short on the games but high on the food because my managers decided to do a "food day" in protest of the "hot dog or hamburger" the "Bistro" was offering. To top things off they decided we should have breakfast too (free food! YAY)

Breakfast started out ok with 1/2 glass of OJ, a piece of homemade quiche, fruit and half of a cinnamon crunch bagel (the bottom half-- I would have gone for a full bagel but I was only interested in the cinnamon crunch bagel-- and there was only a half of one left!) between breakfast and lunch I also had a cup of sprite.

This leads me to lunch. Now there is a guy on our team who's Dad LOVES to make cheesecake (which is always a plain cheesecake) at my request his dad made a chocolate cheesecake (my fav) to accompany the regular cheesecake. -- so you better believe I had a slice of that-- followed by a brat with ketchup and relish, a cup of pasta salad and washed down with yet another sprite.

Here comes the kicker-- they gave away cupcakes later in the day-- I messed up the time and didn't get one-- here comes in my memory of being fat-- I knew I was full. I ate PLENTY of calories (especially with the chocolate cheesecake) and I couldn't help but feel devistated that I missed out on a cupcake. I started thinking to myself "why doesn't my company order enough for at least one cupcake per person working" I started wondering how many people had taken 2-- how DARE they take MY cupcake. AS if this wasn't bad enough-- I found out that they were having cupcakes for people on second shift (which overlaps my shift) and went down and got a cupcake right before i left. Walking back to my desk from the Bistro was like a walk of shame as I passed people who intimately know of my journey to lose weight and my boss who said "you're having a cupcake after cheesecake? you guys are killing me!!!" (she's trying to lose weight too), It felt a little shameful as I felt the urge to hide it from people what I was doing, but you better believe I scarfed it down too.

Am I ashamed? Well I guess not really--but it was disturbing to go into protective mode over food-- i hadn't been that way in a long time. And deep down I knew what I was doing was "wrong" . Do you ever get that way? Ultimately it's just a reminder of "this is why you're fat" -- not being able to control that urge to protect and then consume what is "rightfully" mine.

I had planned on going to the gym tonight to try and work off some of the food I just ate-- but I don't have the desire to right now. My workout schedule has been crazy (practically non-existent) because I was so intently looking for a house --which actually fell through too. I need to get back on the bandwagon-- I have still lost some weight-- just not very quickly-- and I'm currently in 2nd place for the biggest loser @ work (which ends in June) -- I'm only down about .25% behind the 1st place person-- BUT the pot is split 50/50 between the 2 biggest losers so I still have a good chance as long as I start getting myself in gear.

Don't Scare me Valentine!! 227.5

Happy Valentine's Day! Since I'm single I had nothing better to do tonight than to post a couple of creepy food related vintage Valentine's Day Cards. Enjoy!

Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Junk? 229

As promised-- here are the most fabulous pair of jeans I've ever owned. They are Seven7 jeans which I purchased at Lane Bryant. I was so excited with how these fit (I normally have a bunchy crotch issue with all pants.. I think that's from the way my pelvis is tilted)s-- anyway "Look ma, No Bunchy Crotch" Then jeans are a little pricey @ 79.99 BUT with the Lane Bryant Coupon I was able to save $25 on a purchase of $75 or $50 on a purchase of $150.

If there is one thing I've learned.. if you love something (clothes or shoes) buy more than one because once it's worn out.. it's gone. In my case.. once I lose more weight they are gone.. so I took advantage of my coupon and walked away with a size 18 and a size 16 :o) A fabulous investment even if I do say so myself.

I took this opportunity to do another "line up photo" I haven't done one of those in a long while! The original line up is from 01.10.09 when I was 260.5 ... so this is what 33.5 lbs looks like... Sorry about the quality (or lack there of) of the photos.. it was darker this time when I took them AND I used my iphone instead of my regular camera. If I get some time I'll take sharper ones and share. So without further adieu..Ok the booty shot is slightly embarrassing but I wanted you to see the pockets.

Next post is either going to be about some awesome foods I've found.. OR about a change in my look. Stay tuned.

The Biggest Loser! 227

Ok-- so you've probably thought that I fell off the bandwagon-- to be completely honest I did for a while. I got my weight down to 227.5 and then from about Halloween to New Years I ended up putting about 9 lbs back on

About 3 weeks ago my work decided to do a "biggest loser" competition-- I knew it was time to start back on the track-- a little disappointed that I had a) not lost any weight in a long time and b)put back on weight. -- there are about 20 people who each put in $10 -- the pot will be split evenly between the top 2 losers in June.

I was reluctant to go back to the gym -- only tonight did I drag myself there for the first time in MONTHS (what a waste of money @ $48/ month)--

ANYWAY the first week I was in 4th place-- the past 2 weeks I've been in 1st place-- I have lost 7.8 lbs (according to the work scale) and I've done that all by keeping track of my calories on my iphone ap "Lose it!" -- it works pretty well-- it was a tool I used before but for whatever reason (maybe the upgrade) it seems to be more accurate this time around

Tonight I went to the gym and walked for 35 minutes-- burning 360 calories

Here recently I've also found several excellent foods I'm going to share with you in the next few posts.

You guys are my accountability so I'm going to try and be better about posting now-- even though my life has in fact sped up instead of slowed down over the past few months.

The jewelry website isn't up yet-- I'm meeting with my friend this weekend for a few hours to try and get it close to up and running-- I doubt we'll finish it this weekend but I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

I'm ALSO in the process of looking for a new home-- I want to get one before the deadline for the tax credit which is April 30th (for a contract) and I think June to close. So wish me luck, send a few prayers my way and we'll all get through this together.

Tomorrow I'm going to post a couple of photos of me in my new SEXXY jeans and tell you about where to get them etc. I'm so excited about them-- but that my friends is a story for tomorrow! :o) Until then!

Dinner --235.5

Here's some dinner I made the other night. It's shrimp, sun dried tomatoes, spinach, mushrooms, pasta and feta cheese. I sauteed the shrimp, sun dried tomatoes, spinach and mushrooms in a skillet-- I didn't need to use any sort of oil with it because there is a little residual oil on the sun dried tomatoes (from being in the jar they come in). I cook the pasta for about a minute less than suggested, drain it, then add it to the skillet, throw just a spoon of the feta (which is actually tomato basil feta)-- I then cook that for a couple of extra minutes-- plate it and add another spoon of feta on top. It's really good and pretty healthy for you-- just watch how much pasta you're eating-- and you can make it even better by using whole wheat pasta!

I didn't find this recipe anywhere.. I just thought about what I thought would taste good together-- add what you want to it-- I thought oregano and basil would be tasty--maybe even some artichoke hearts!

If you try it let me know! It's pretty simple to make and probably takes about 15 minutes at the max. (the biggest time commitment is waiting for the water to boil and the pasta to cook for about 7 minutes)

The Spread - 256

I hit the gym last night-- same old workout but actually did some weights-- today I fell asleep and slept past the time the gym was open (7pm) so I'm going to either have to fight the possessed treadmill in the basement or walk up and down the stairs-- or something to get in some exercise yet tonight (I'll let you know tomorrow how that works out)

Anyway I did want to share with you my grocery shopping experience today! I was so excited about all of these nutritional finds/ choices I made--- I also want to share my own *special* recipe on how to make tuna salad (what I had for lunch today).

Here's a pictures of the spread-- this is literally everything I bought-- (well sans 24 rolls of tp)
HOLD UP LET ME CALL A TIME OUT TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!Has anyone ever thought about how undignified it feels to buy toilet paper--- you always have to buy at least 6 rolls-- sometimes 12 or 24-- of course the double roll kind-- today I bought the 24 rolls because I absolutely hate buying tp. 24 rolls though-- man you have to lug that into the house all by itself-- freaking huge. Especially when you're a single gal--it's like announcing to the world "hey I spend a lot of time in the bathroom". *stepping off soap box*

So here is a list of what I bought
*tuna* *propel (I like to buy the 1 liter in mixed berry flavor--- I always drink one of these at work-- and the best part is at Walmart the 1 liter sells for $1.00)*
*cherries, blueberries, green grapes* *baby spinach and Caesar salad mix* *fat free italian dressing* *light balsamic dressing* *guacamole* *tostitos chips* *pico de gallo* *greek salad mix (basically feta, onions and tomatoes)* *eggs**acai and pomegrante juice* *cottage cheese**skinny cow icecream cones (only 150 calories)**go lean cereal* *just bunches cereal* *35 calorie whole wheat bread*--- all of this came to a grand total of $71.00 ouch-- but I have to say I'm very happy with all of my choices-- (although mildly disappointed with the tostitos-- I'm having problems controlling myself to eat those in moderation)

I should mention that before I talked about using Bistro MD as my meal plan-- but I haven't really used that since about Thanksgiving-- it's making choices like those I made today--- and choosing smaller portions -- or alternatives which has really helped me succeed.

Now on to the TUNA SALAD. Incidentally for lunch @ work I've basically been buying just tuna salad for lunch (no bread)-- the tuna salad they make is awesome with cut up little red onions and celery-- very little mayo and lots of good spices-- I just fill up on that and fruit for lunches. I decided this weekend to make my own tuna salad which has had rave reviews by some friends. I want to share it with you!
The ingredients-- light miracle whip, tuna, dill pickles, guacamole, two slices of 35 calorie whole wheat bread, dill weed, seasoned salt, paprika and onion powder-- typically I also like a slice of lettuce and tomato to accompany this sandwich but the tomatoes didn't look great @ the store-- so I made due with a side of pico.

Ok so it's pretty self explanatory-- I do everything to taste--but one secret I will tell you is that you should take a tablespoon of pickle juice (yes the dill pickle juice) and add it to the tuna salad mixture-- (this is a secret from my Grandma)

I was a little disappointed with my salad today-- it's been a while since I made mine with miracle whip (sometimes I just go without it all together and add in all the spices to the tuna)-- basically I put in too much miracle whip and had to add another can of tuna-- but it still wasn't the best tuna salad I've ever made.

ANYWAY-- moving on-- I toasted the bread and slapped on some guacamole on one side-- tuna salad on the other and some pickles to the top. I want to let you know that I know guacamole isn't the BEST food -- but it does have a lot of *good fat* in it-- and this particular guacamole is 50 calories for 2 tbs and 1 gram of fat per 2 tbs-- so in perspective it's not that bad.

So here is the final product. I did add some grape tomatoes and pico on the side (but didn't take a photo). If you try it let me know what you think!!!! If I wasn't really watching what I eat I'd probably add a slice of provolone to this sandwich and call it a day!Incidentally did you notice I'm down to 256 today (yesterday I was thinking while working out-- tomorrow I'm going to weight 255-- well I didnt' get what I was hoping for but I'll still take it :o))

What's in a Number? --261.5

Well-- what exactly is in a number anyway-- well I'm going to tell you! Each blog title is going to be my weight the day I blog-- this helps keep me accountable!-- I've been slowly tracking my weight and keeping record. I think this is a good thing to do to help track progress and keep yourself motivated-- plus you can always see how different things effect your weight and actively progress your situation.

Now I know EVERYONE says do not weigh yourself... or only weigh yourself once a week-- I weigh myself pretty much every day. Why do I do this? Well I think it's important. Think about it -- if your bladder is full or you're retaining water (as women especially tend to do) and you only weigh yourself once a week--- it may appear that you have gained 5 pounds in the past week-- that only puts you in a downward spiral-- this is why I choose to weigh myself pretty much every day-- I can account for fluctuation and really keep track of where I'm at. Another thing I do is I always weigh myself when I get up in the morning (after I've gone to the bathroom and before I've ate or drank anything) this ensures that I have a constant of time-- my stomach is empty--so I don't have to worry about how much the food or water I just drank weighed (yes I am that anal).

So let me share some numbers with you!

11/14 269
11/15 267
11/16 268.5
11/17 269.5
11/18 269
11/19 269
11/20 267.5
11/21 267
11/22 265.5
11/30 266
12/01 267
12/02 265.5
12/03 266
12/06 264
12/20 263.5
12/28 261.5

On 10/13 my measurements were: bust 48 natural waist 43 and hips 54 weight 289
On 1/03 my measurements are: bust 45 natural waist 39 and hips 52 weight 261.5

Boy typing this is making me think twice about sharing---

So what have I been doing to lose weight?

When I hit the gym I go to the treadmill--- I'm not built for running so I just walk fast-- about 4.2 mph --- I do one of two things-- I either walk for a half hour (with 5 minute cool down)-- which typically burns about 350 calories (more depending on how much I mess with the inclination) --and then I'll lift weights for about a half hour after that-- focusing on my thighs, abs, triceps and biceps --- or I will walk for about 70 minutes (that is two 30 minute sessions with 2 five minute cool downs) On the second session I normally drop my pace to keep my heart rate up but not burn myself out--- I should mention my first session is much more intense where every 3 - 5 minutes I will increase the inclination and sometimes adjust the speed up-- I want to really hit it for the first 35---

Naturally our bodies don't go into fat burning mode until after you've been working out for at least 20 minutes-- so logically speaking keeping your heart rate up for at least an hour (whether by more walking or weights) is what allows me to get the max out of my work out.

Food wise I've been eating BistroMD-- which has been quite a challenge-- considering it is gourmet food but EVERY meal consists of a meat and two vegetables--- since I've never been a hardy meat eater-- it's difficult to have it EVERY day-- I find myself missing pastas and especially salads.

When I lost 30 lbs before I did use nutrisystem-- but I have to warn you the food is not nearly as good and when I ended up doing was ordering items ala cart to get the items I liked--- I really enjoyed the chicken cacciatori for lunch-- my biggest suggestion with nutrisystem is to avoid anything that is primarily meat-- because a lot of times it looks or smells like cat food (sometimes even tastes like it)--- the muffins they had made me throw up because they were so dry--- so when I ordered my food I stuck to lunch and dinner items then had fruit for breakfast-- or a cup of a cereal like "honey nut clusters"--- one thing I highly recommend from nutrisystem is the chocolates--- those were the best snack and really the only snack I ever ordered.

I'm not really a fan of any sort of diet pills-- it always comes out years later that it causes birth defects or cancer or liver or kidney failure--- I have recently invested in some "women's health" pills from GNC-- that claims to help digest the fat-- and I have noticed that it does help with the weight loss. I have considered maybe trying that acai pills-- but as afore mentioned I'm not a big fan of diet pills or fads-- it's always safest to do things the natural and right way.