The Biggest Loser! 227

Ok-- so you've probably thought that I fell off the bandwagon-- to be completely honest I did for a while. I got my weight down to 227.5 and then from about Halloween to New Years I ended up putting about 9 lbs back on

About 3 weeks ago my work decided to do a "biggest loser" competition-- I knew it was time to start back on the track-- a little disappointed that I had a) not lost any weight in a long time and b)put back on weight. -- there are about 20 people who each put in $10 -- the pot will be split evenly between the top 2 losers in June.

I was reluctant to go back to the gym -- only tonight did I drag myself there for the first time in MONTHS (what a waste of money @ $48/ month)--

ANYWAY the first week I was in 4th place-- the past 2 weeks I've been in 1st place-- I have lost 7.8 lbs (according to the work scale) and I've done that all by keeping track of my calories on my iphone ap "Lose it!" -- it works pretty well-- it was a tool I used before but for whatever reason (maybe the upgrade) it seems to be more accurate this time around

Tonight I went to the gym and walked for 35 minutes-- burning 360 calories

Here recently I've also found several excellent foods I'm going to share with you in the next few posts.

You guys are my accountability so I'm going to try and be better about posting now-- even though my life has in fact sped up instead of slowed down over the past few months.

The jewelry website isn't up yet-- I'm meeting with my friend this weekend for a few hours to try and get it close to up and running-- I doubt we'll finish it this weekend but I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

I'm ALSO in the process of looking for a new home-- I want to get one before the deadline for the tax credit which is April 30th (for a contract) and I think June to close. So wish me luck, send a few prayers my way and we'll all get through this together.

Tomorrow I'm going to post a couple of photos of me in my new SEXXY jeans and tell you about where to get them etc. I'm so excited about them-- but that my friends is a story for tomorrow! :o) Until then!

I'm Back! 247

This is going to be a short post just to let you know I'm still around and kicking. These past 3 weeks have been very difficult because I've been dealing with my two herniated discs in my back. This last week was also the week I spent down in New Orleans/ Biloxi -- unfortunately the week before I left I hurt my back and it started to feel better and then the plane ride really did a number on it.. then is started to feel better and the plane ride home made it worse again. I then went on a 5 hour drive to my Grandma's for Easter and back again (again making my healing back worse) at this point it's the worst it's been over the 3 week period. I'm considering going into the doctor for it :o(. This also means I haven't been able to be as active as I've wanted-- I haven't stepped on the scale until today where it shows I've gone from 242 to 247-- well see how accurate a reading this is over the next couple of days.. if it does prove to be accurate it will be very disappointing. I'm getting anxious to get back to the gym. I will post more pictures when I get a chance (I've felt really bad being away from the blog so long).

A Quickie--- 246.5

I'm just starting to feel better -- I had to take 2 days off of work this week due to my congestion situation. Unfortunately this has meant no gym time! But I do plan on starting back up (hopefully tomorrow) I'm really excited about the row machine and can't wait to get back on it! -- on a more positive note I've still be able to drop a couple LBs this week! :o)

*Sniffle Sniffle* 248

I had a really hard time sleeping last night and I couldn't figure out why.. until my alarm went off and I sat up in bed and realized I couldn't breathe out of my nose-- outstanding-- I also started coughing--- so it looks like overnight I either caught a cold or a sinus infection-- either way not a great way to start the week! I called off work today (and will probably have to cancel my dentist appointment for Thursday).

Bummer for being sick AGAIN. :o(

Three Strikes I'm out 250.5

My day started out well-- I actually had a semi- decent day @ work. I got home ready to work out--and I decided to check my myspace and facebook.

I saw a posting from my texas guy's sister. She had posted a bunch of pictures from Valentine's Day (which happens to be her Birthday-- and the day after happens to be her anniversary) As I was looking through the 50 or so photos there were a bunch of "Mr. I just want to be single" and a girl.

Wow! Why am I so easily replaced? Both my ex-fiance and this other guy started dating within a month of breaking up with me. Both now involved in relationships. This is doing wonders for my self-esteem.

So after feeling like I wanted to ball my eyes out I sucked it up and said "I'm going to work this off at the gym" -- so as I go swipe my card at the gym they let me know that my membership "expired" on 02/28. Joy. They said I could work out tonight but after this I need to renew. Now I have to figure out if I want to renew @ 55.00/ month or try out the 24 hour fitness (for I'm not sure how much/ month). Decisions! Can't I just work out!?!?!

I've been frustrated in general with my lack of progress on the scale since Valentines Day (Ironic I know). I'm having a hard time figuring out where my compass is trying to point. I don't know what to do about my job, my living situation, dating situation-- my WORK OUT situation. AHHHHH!

I hit the elliptical for 35 minutes-- then tried something new-- the row machine (which made it difficult to walk -- my toes kept wanting to point downward for the first few steps off the machine) -- I think I'm going to feel the row machine tomorrow (even though I just tried it for 5 minutes).

Cutting out the Fat and the Cancer --258

Today I continued on my 90 in 09 quest and hit the gym up for 35 minutes on the treadmill. I burned a total of 375 calories.

What I really want to tell you about is how I've decided to cut out the fat and cancer. What do I mean by that-- well I'm cutting out my fat-- I'm getting rid of the things I don't need--

When you have cancer (unless it's beyond help-- terminal) the doctors go in to cut it out. If they can't cut it out they kill your immune system to get rid of it. So that's exactly what I decided to do last night-- cut out the cancer. It's painful yes-- but I decided to completely let go of that guy-- I deleted him as a friend on myspace-- he was causing me so much anguish over telling me all of these wonderful things and then outright rejecting me for the way I looked. -- all this in turn has done is make me angry and sad at the same time-- it's been distracting and killing me softly-- so I decided to cut him out-- kill the cancer that was killing my focus-- that was killing my self esteem.

Now for the healing process-- I deserve better-- I'm more than a sparkling personality-- so much more and I don't need a cancer that makes me think or feel otherwise.

The Possesed Treadmill 258

In the deep recesses of my basement stands a treadmill that is folded up-- a nordictrack solaris to be exact. It's been sitting in my basement for about 10 months-- it was placed there by my parents. I know they had issues with it so I assumed it was DOA. When I was talking to my Mom the other night about the hours of the YMCA and how particularly on the weekend it's hard to get to the gym in the allotted hours. She mentioned to me that I should use the treadmill in the basement after inquisition she revealed the treadmill indeed worked.

Well I know myself pretty well and I know if I don't actually go to the gym I don't push myself as hard. Under the circumstances-- between being sick and my utter distrust of my tivo actually recording all 3 hours of the LOST premiere I decided to "take one for the team" and swipe the cobwebs off the solaris.

It was more difficult than I thought to even pull the machine into a place where I could drop the bed down (the wheels on the machine are in an awkward place that render them virtually useless). Once I got the treadmill into a spot where I could drop the bed, I realized that the cord was only about 4 feet long (why do all treadmill companies feel that the front of your machine should only be 4 feet from the wall?)-- anyway that's a gripe in and of itself. My point is I then I had to search for an extension cord-- which I didn't have. --- My brain started working and I figured out that I actually had a power cord strip that was just long enough to bridge the divide between the socket and the minx tail of a power cord. I plugged her in and SUCCESS I saw the light on the power cord light up (I wasn't entirely confident that the socket I plugged it into actually had power). I hopped on the treadmill with so much enthusiasm only to be perplexed as to why nothing on the machine was lighting up! I remember there was a "reset" button on the actual treadmill so I flipped that on and off-- still nothing--- then I see a "key" emblem adorning an indentation that was reminiscent of a half dollar-- what kind of key would go in there? I saw then that there was a strap wrapped around the side of the grip bar with a circular adaptation (which magnetically attaches to the indentation)... POWERED UP and ready to go now!

I jumped on the treadmill again and messed with the speed-- up to 3.8mph @ 6% inclination. As I'm getting comfortable about 3 minutes in (and finding the built in fan) I noticed that all of the sudden the belt was moving slower and slower to a stop! WHAT? I proceeded to walk and actually move the belt myself which somehow triggered the machine to boost into warp speed 5 mph-- so I was faced with running or falling off-- in a split second decision I found myself running-- then the machine readjusted to about 4 mph and stayed there--- until 30 seconds later it powered down again to nothing. I thought "damn it-- the one time I try and work out at home and this happens" I went through these cycles of nothing to warp 10 s and settling every minute or so until I hit 10 minutes. I considered giving up all together but I remembered my commitment for the 90 in 09 and decided running or not I would have to stick it out for at least 20 minutes.

Once I was about 10 minutes into the work out the belt stopped moving all together again-- and never decided to pick back up. I figured that I was probably getting more of a work out making that belt move with my leg power than with a machine that pulls the belt-- I hit 19 minutes (1 minute before I was going to throw in the towel) and the belt started turning @ 6 miles an hour-- I decided this must have been Divine intervention and that I would just stick with it and RUN (not taking the mph down at all)-- now I've mentioned before that I'm horrible at running-- I'm just not built for it being drastically uncoordinated-- being flat footed and knock kneed-- but I figured-- heck it's only going to work for another 30 seconds or so-- wouldn't you know that thing kept going for about 4 minutes when I decided I couldn't stand to run anymore or I would pass out. I bumped the mph back down to 4mph and the belt gave way again-- I decided to throw in the towel at that point which was 23 minutes.

That being said I think I'll just stick to going to the gym. Too much drama getting in the way of my work out-- even though it is kinda funny-- the last thing I need is a possessed treadmill.

I then went upstairs and watched LOST holy cow I love that show! Is anyone else here a LOST fan?

Third Time's a Charm --257

Yesterday I stuck with the idea of kicking it into high gear at the gym-- I walked for an hour and burned about 650 calories! When I got home though I started feeling really sick-- stuffy nose sick (like what I just got over about 3 or 4 days ago-- only this time much worse)

I had trouble sleeping last night-- and woke up a few times during the night. Both times I woke up with my mouth wide open and everything inside (including my esophagus) completely bone dry-- and it wasn't just bone dry it was the kind of (pardon my honesty) phlegm covered then dried out scenario.

I can't help but wonder why (since I've been working out) I've managed to be sick 3 times. The first illness came on like the flu right before Thanksgiving -- but ended up being a deep cough that lasted about 3 weeks-- I would cough so much and so hard that I would throw up-- BAD

Two weeks ago I got the common cold that hung on for a week and a half--- then last night this came on-- I can't help but wonder if this is somehow related to working out-- like maybe I'm pushing myself too hard-- or not getting enough of a certain vitamin or nutrient? Regardless I'm tired of being sick!

In spite of feeling sick I still went to the gym... I took it easy on the treadmill slower pace-- low inclination and only 35 minutes. I'm going to genuinely try and make this through-- keep with my 90 in 09 challenge and do at least 20 -30 minutes of exercise a day.

Let me share with you what I have been doing on the treadmill. I keep my pace at a steady 4mph. For the first 10 minutes I walk with no inclination. Once I hit 10 minutes in I increase the inclination to 1. Once I hit 15 minutes in I increase to 2-- 20 minutes in 2.5-- 25 minutes in 3-- 24 minutes in 3.5 inclination -- 26 minutes in 4.0-- 27 minutes in 4.5 -- 28 minutes in 5.0-- 29 minutes in 5.5-- 29.5 minutes in 6 inclination-- then from the 30-35 minute there is a cool down-- so the machine basically drops to 0 inclination and a speed of 3.2 mph to bring down my heart rate. I found this is a great progressive work out and I think I will continue on with for a while.

PS did you notice my weight went down again-- new low of 257!

Where I've Been - 259

I was able to gain access of a couple of pictures from my friend Sarah's wedding (when I was @ 281.5). The dress may not have been the most flattering but you can definitely see the top portion is super form fitting---- it allows you to see a little of where I've been.

I went to the gym last night and plan on hitting it again today. Yesterday I did the treadmill 35 minutes-- and I bumped up the weights I do on my inner and outer thighs to 130lbs-- I'm feeling that in my left inner thigh today-- I've been reluctant to bump up the weight because I don't want to look like a body builder when all is said and done-- my main objective is to tone and get the fat off.

A Confession--- 260.5

So here's my confession ready for this? One of my best friends, Kai has her 31st B-day on Monday-- so to celebrate we decided to go to CHEESECAKE FACTORY! We split an order of taquitos (total of 4 so 2 and 2-- it's an appetizer) and we both had a slice of cheesecake. I actually had the lemon raspberry-- I didn't eat all of it-- and I avoided a majority of the whipped cream. It was a splurge on my part-- but I took it in moderation-- and I don't feel bad about. I was planning on hitting the gym afterward-- but to my dismay found out it closed tonight @ 7 (not 10 like I thought) so no I didn't get a work out in-- and that is very disappointing to me! I guess I'm just going to have to take this day off-- since I'm still sick it might actually be a good thing! -- I honestly and sincerely did want to go!

I also attempted to take some "progress photos" today-- unfortunately I have incredibly unsteady hands and the lighting was not the best-- so please tolerate the blurriness of the photos-- they were the best of the 30 I took! They are clear enough for you to get the idea....

Did anyone notice that I dropped from 263 to 260.5 in a day? -- that means overall I'm down 28.5 lbs from my heaviest -- and 21 lbs since I really started trying to loose the weight-- this is a victory-- especially after I was plateauing there for a while-- I broke through!

261.5 -- I swallowed my guilt whole.

Thinking back on how I actually gained 56lbs in the past 2 years-- I think it really had a lot to do with the guilt I had surrounding my relationship. I think when you start to bury feelings and thoughts deep down inside--- it starts to grow roots into all aspects of your life. -- it's as if I had a redwood protruding out of my chest-- just so vast and immensely unfathomable to deal with. Once I started swallowing that guilt whole-- it just festered in my gut. I think that's why I'm feeling so liberated discussing things like my weight so openly now --- it's something that's always been there lurking in the shadows-- but there's no need to do that anymore. When you stop fearing the monster under the bed enough to actually lift up the covers and look him in the eye-- you realize you've been fearing an old sneaker and waded up sweater from 1982.

Does anyone else see a similar correlation in their life?

Today was my first day back @ work (after having been laid off for 3 months) -- I'm incredibly sore from yesterday's work out and almost decided not to go the gym tonight. Instead I decided to work through the pain-- I convinced myself to do just 35 minutes on the treadmill--- I walked slower today @ 3.7 mph but with an inclination that I started @ 4.5 and moved up to 6-- it was tough! After that I did convince myself to do some weights as well.. sometimes it's so hard to motivate myself.. but if I tackle it one item at a time-- I can often convince myself to do "just one more" exercise or "just 5 more minutes" -- I think this is a lot like how I have to approach my weight loss-- one calorie-- one day-- one pound at a time.