Better Late Than Never! --241

Ok so here are a couple of photos left over from my New Orleans trip (back just before Easter).In other news I've started back to the gym after about a two month hiatis. On Sunday I worked out for about 1.5 hours (all cardio)-- while I've been at a relative standstill for weight loss, I know I need to keep going! I was so distraught (which I know sounds stupid) when I lost 50lbs, it was such a huge milestone-- and fear really took over me. I'm trying to kick it back into high gear.

I've had to put my house hunt back on hold due to some issues with my employer. I don't want to get into it too much at this point (but I'm sure eventually I will be blogging about it and much much more). If anyone knows of jobs in the Cincinnati/ Dayton area please let me know ASAP. So house hunt gone-- replaced with job hunt!

I'm still working on this little side business for jewelry-- still in the process of setting things up and building a base of work-- I promise as soon as I get it up and running I'll be sharing it with you guys!

Look for a blog post tomorrow--- I have one in mind! :o)

I'm 28 *party favor partied out* -243

soooo today's my 28th birthday. I can't help but feel old.. lol (I realize I'm going to get backlash for that statement from the 30 + crowd) This is actually the first birthday I can remember spending alone.. like.. not going out with people... perhaps this is the turning point where people start to "forget" their own birthday on purpose. lol who knows. It's sad in a way.. not having a special someone to celebrate with.. but I'm just going to digress on that point...

Anyway.. on that note.. I did some shopping this weekend..,. and when I say SHOPPING.. I mean SHOPPING! this weekend I bought 3 dresses, 2 pairs of pants (this is really out of necessity for work since I can't get my old work pants to stay up) 3 lips glosses (I got this for free from sophora for my BIRTHDAY! YAY!) 3 bras (it's the victoria's secret semi-annual sale don't you know) a calendar/ card rack (from Pier 1 that is going out of business which I plan to use for craft fairs.. selling cards and pieces of artwork) and finally a nice pair of fuschia flats. lol so when I say shopping.. now you know what I mean! So.... without further aduie here is some photos of the dresses and the shoes (what I'm most excited about!!)

242.5-- It's a John and Kate + 8 Thing!

Hi Everyone! Sorry for my long absence.. things have just literally been so crazy for me. I've started up a house hunt again-- I've been working on a new "money scheming" adventure (for those of you who don't know I really have a desire to work from home for myself-- preferably making artwork but that hasn't had much success.. so I've been dabbling in different forms of "Art" to try and "MAKE A HIT"). Anyway my new "money scheming" adventure is actually making jewelry-- and what I really mean by that is "beading".

I was introduced to beading by my best friend, Amber when I was out visiting her in San Francisco/ San Diego. I ended up investing about $300 in beads/ supplies while I was out there.. I'm using only high quality stuff-- ie sterling silver .925-- NATURAL gemstones and semi-precious stones.-- I'm working on getting some "dummies" so I can display the necklaces nicely and take some photos of them in my attempt to sell them online. Stay tuned for photos to come!

Anyway what I really wanted to write about is John and Kate + 8 and their "announcement". I've been an avid watcher of this show since it started really. Initially I think the motive of John and Kate was to satisfy the daunting task of affording the family they never intended to have. I also think that allowing all the cameras into their life was a way of not only providing but also squandering all the baby crazies out there from seeking them out in person to ask questions etc.

I must admit that here recently (especially this season) it seems like the family is just really in it for the stardom-- and what a tangled web they wove. It seems like each new episode this season is filled with celebrities or some sort of gift they have received being flaunted. It's gotten so commercial. Now I know there are rumors flying about unfaithfulness and the greedy and over zealous Kate, but what TLC has done is created a monster in ratings-- and perhaps of the parents themselves. While I hate to speculate on all of these rumors I do know a few things for fact. While John and Kate's parents have never been featured on the shows-- they did have brother/ sister-in-law AND a couple of friends who have all but disappeared from the show. I think this is not a result of "business" but more as a result of burning bridges.

But regardless of all of those things it's really the kids who are suffering. While Kate is out doing her "job" giving speeches and seminars on"family" and John is off going out with friends etc-- the children are at home with nannies-- you note also that as a family they have gone away from the whole "organic" realm of things which seemed to always be the forefront of every meal in past seasons. The family also always made church a priority, driving an hour each way to church. A family that was always so centered on "time outs" as opposed to "spankings" has now been caught by the paparazzi doing just that. (Actually I'm a whole hearted supporter of spanking but my point is here that the core values of this family seems to have changed drastically). It seems to me the more the fame grew-- the further apart the family has grown.

As difficult as Kate is to deal with-- I really hope for the family's sake that John and Kate are not getting divorced. What I really hope and pray for is that this huge announcement is not for a divorce but the decision that the show will end. As much as I love seeing the children and how they grow-- I think the priorities have gotten all out of whack and I hope that John and Kate have done well with saving and investing the millions of dollars they have already made from the show.

While the show has really benefited this family I think it's really hurt it in a lot of ways. The possibility of divorce and the fact that the children are constantly being "raised' by someone other than their parents really speak to that. On the show John and Kate have revealed that the cameras have never left their house since the second "one hour special"-- the now 9 and 5 year old have never known anything else- how strange is that? These children need to be kids and not TV stars.

It will be interesting to see in years to come what these kids have to say. I'm sure at that point you'll hear some of the things that went on that weren't the most pleasant things-- and there is bound to be at least one or two kids who are really resentful for the entire experience.

So Monday will tell the "future" for this family. I really hope and pray that this is the end for the show out of love for the family.

Chop Chop --245

I woke up on Sat morning and thought "my hair looks like a big blob.. I think I'm just going to cut it off into a short bob" -- so I called and made an appointment for later that day-- well I ended up chickening out the bob for fear I would look AWFUL-- so I went a little safer.. but I did chop off quite a few inches-- Around 6 inches or more in places. -- Here they are! Tolerate the fact that I took them myself and I wasn't wearing make-up!

Swallowed by Insecurities-- 245

This was a photo from my vacation-- In case it's hard to make out.. it's me in a sharks mouth. I thought I was being funny-- but when I saw the photos.. I felt like I was being swallowed whole by my insecurities and not the shark head @ the Birch aquarium.

After 50 lbs lost (well you can see I'm up a few lbs at the moment-- I think that's water weight but we'll see in a day or two)-- ANYWAY after 50lbs lost-- I'm really starting to notice the permanent damage I did to my body-- particularly stretched out-- stretch marked skin. I find this especially noticeable in my arms! My inner arms are covered in stretch marks.. which as I lose weight has transformed into flabby flaps. -- This coupled with the "gut" I've acquired that still doesn't want to move (I've lost 1 inch on my gut-- compared with the 5 inches I've lost on my chest, the 8 inches on my waist and the 6 inches on my hips)-- that belly won't go away-- it's incredibly frustrating-- and unattractive. Before I gained all this extra weight I always had a pretty flat stomach-- even @ 220 lbs my stomach remained flat-- now that the fat is on there it is refusing to budge.-- and finally my chest. -- I've gone down a cup size (well on one side I have HAHAH!)-- my one boob tends to want to pop out of my cup-- on the other side it's a little smaller (which I know is normal-- but it's annoying and again unattractive to me.)

I'm having a really hard time coping with this change. I mean it's awesome that I'm taking control and losing weight.. but it's terrifying! (see previous blog)-- and it's frustrating to me that I look like a fat person who has lost weight.. instead of a person who has always been *this weight*. I'm normally very self-confident-- but I was just so overcome with this while on vacation-- I'm scared to see what my final body looks like-- I know.. I just need to take it one day at a time.. but it's hard! I'm struggling. I want to lose weight but I'm having a hard time motivating myself. *sigh* anyway I just wanted to share what's on my mind.